"When I was a son with my father, tender, the only one in the sight of my mother,
he taught me and said to me, 'Let your heart hold fast my words; keep my commandments and live."
How am I teaching my daughter now while she is the only one in my care?
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Bailing
We are coming to the end of our dual income time and as we look for ways to keep our financial ship from sinking, we've introduced a new concept that we're calling bailing. This not only involves cutting non-essentials but also looking for ways to spend less on the essentials.
Now I may be crazy to try this in the PNW but as part of our bailing attempts, I am doing this:
After all, how many loads of diapers do I do in a week? Several, that's all I can say. Maybe this will help counteract the fact that we are keeping our house a little warmer these days.
Now I may be crazy to try this in the PNW but as part of our bailing attempts, I am doing this:
After all, how many loads of diapers do I do in a week? Several, that's all I can say. Maybe this will help counteract the fact that we are keeping our house a little warmer these days.
Friday, July 2, 2010
The New Happy
Keren wrote about realizing how happy she has become to be Charlie's mom after their difficult start. This reminded me of something that helped me get through the first weeks of adjusting to a new family member.
We had planned and hoped for a baby for a while before Elanor came along. The first two thirds of the pregnancy was pretty rough. I know there were moments (bent over the toilet or breathing deeply attempting to not be in that position) where I questioned how worthwhile this process was. But when I started to feel her move around inside me, it became more fun to think about how she was growing and get a sense of the small person who was being nourished and sheltered there. I'm grateful to have had a fairly easy end of pregnancy and, while labor was long, I always knew that it was going to be a finite and relatively short period. I hope that I never forget the incredible high of giving birth with Jonathan and seeing Elanor for the first time.
Then we brought her home.
Now Elanor was not a hard baby. She ate appropriately (after the initial adjustment period), cried when she was uncomfortable or tired, seemed happy to be held and slept a normal amount for a baby of her age.
But as some friends of ours very kindly put it, even a normal newborn is hard.
To make matters a little more interesting, one of our cats had gotten himself into some serious trouble while we were gone having the baby and needed several weeks of close observation, vet visits (culminating in surgery) and special care. Jonathan took over this responsibility while I was in charge of Ellie-care. All of my imagining of special cuddle time with the three of us or chats with Jonathan while Ellie slept in my arms were blown away by sheer exhaustion and the separation of having to each care for different, needy creatures.
All of this, in addition to that lovely postpartum hormonal crash, created this sense of horror about our new life. We had been happy with just the two of us, hadn't we? What had we been thinking to change things and bring this new complication into our lives? Had we ruined everything?
The breakthrough came with a realization that birth is a longer and more complicated process than I had realized. Our old happiness had left and was irrecoverable in its previous form. I had hoped for a new kind of happiness--that of expanding our family--but I realized that I didn't really know what that was going to look like and even the glimmers of it that I was able to imagine hadn't arrived yet.
That time between the death of the old happiness and the birth of the new was much longer and harder than labor.
However, as my hormones started to settle down and Maxwell got better, Jonathan was able to spend some time with Elanor and me and we were able to have a few moments that looked just a little bit like the picture of our new family that I had imagined.
There is something wonderful about seeing your husband croon over his tiny daughter. It turns out that a walk through the grocery store with the baby asleep in the wrap can be romantic. Sharing your baby's first smiles is just as thrilling as watching a glorious sunset at the end of a ferry ride.
As Elanor and our family embark on the fourth month of this new adventure, caring for her has gotten a little more complicated as her needs and pace of development increase. But this is usually balanced by more of these moments of the new happy.
Getting up with her at night sometimes can be a special cozy time for us now that she smiles when she sees me and snuggles a little before I put her back to bed. It also helps that we're down to twice a night too.
Changing her diaper is a time for singing and finger games.
It only takes me half an hour to walk to the library and Elanor does tummy time even better outside on the grass in the backyard while I hang laundry or weed the flower beds.
Sharing her coos and giggles with Jonathan is as delightful as sharing a movie.
A casual date for ice cream or coffee is just as satisfying right now as a date for dinner and a concert.
And, of course, sleep makes EVERYTHING better.
We had planned and hoped for a baby for a while before Elanor came along. The first two thirds of the pregnancy was pretty rough. I know there were moments (bent over the toilet or breathing deeply attempting to not be in that position) where I questioned how worthwhile this process was. But when I started to feel her move around inside me, it became more fun to think about how she was growing and get a sense of the small person who was being nourished and sheltered there. I'm grateful to have had a fairly easy end of pregnancy and, while labor was long, I always knew that it was going to be a finite and relatively short period. I hope that I never forget the incredible high of giving birth with Jonathan and seeing Elanor for the first time.
Then we brought her home.
Now Elanor was not a hard baby. She ate appropriately (after the initial adjustment period), cried when she was uncomfortable or tired, seemed happy to be held and slept a normal amount for a baby of her age.
But as some friends of ours very kindly put it, even a normal newborn is hard.
To make matters a little more interesting, one of our cats had gotten himself into some serious trouble while we were gone having the baby and needed several weeks of close observation, vet visits (culminating in surgery) and special care. Jonathan took over this responsibility while I was in charge of Ellie-care. All of my imagining of special cuddle time with the three of us or chats with Jonathan while Ellie slept in my arms were blown away by sheer exhaustion and the separation of having to each care for different, needy creatures.
All of this, in addition to that lovely postpartum hormonal crash, created this sense of horror about our new life. We had been happy with just the two of us, hadn't we? What had we been thinking to change things and bring this new complication into our lives? Had we ruined everything?
The breakthrough came with a realization that birth is a longer and more complicated process than I had realized. Our old happiness had left and was irrecoverable in its previous form. I had hoped for a new kind of happiness--that of expanding our family--but I realized that I didn't really know what that was going to look like and even the glimmers of it that I was able to imagine hadn't arrived yet.
That time between the death of the old happiness and the birth of the new was much longer and harder than labor.
However, as my hormones started to settle down and Maxwell got better, Jonathan was able to spend some time with Elanor and me and we were able to have a few moments that looked just a little bit like the picture of our new family that I had imagined.
There is something wonderful about seeing your husband croon over his tiny daughter. It turns out that a walk through the grocery store with the baby asleep in the wrap can be romantic. Sharing your baby's first smiles is just as thrilling as watching a glorious sunset at the end of a ferry ride.
As Elanor and our family embark on the fourth month of this new adventure, caring for her has gotten a little more complicated as her needs and pace of development increase. But this is usually balanced by more of these moments of the new happy.
Getting up with her at night sometimes can be a special cozy time for us now that she smiles when she sees me and snuggles a little before I put her back to bed. It also helps that we're down to twice a night too.
Changing her diaper is a time for singing and finger games.
It only takes me half an hour to walk to the library and Elanor does tummy time even better outside on the grass in the backyard while I hang laundry or weed the flower beds.
Sharing her coos and giggles with Jonathan is as delightful as sharing a movie.
A casual date for ice cream or coffee is just as satisfying right now as a date for dinner and a concert.
And, of course, sleep makes EVERYTHING better.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Baby projects
I've been on a knitting kick for a while so I haven't made any embroidered clothes for Elanor yet. I have enjoyed using up some odds and ends of yarn from other projects for baby socks, though.
This yarn was the leftovers from the Evenstar mitts:
I got a bunch of a friend's leftovers as well:
Matching mitts--which were for a much smaller baby than the socks were and are now too small:
This was a great free pattern called Fiddlehead that I found through PurlBee. I made a lightweight cotton version in a sport weight rather than the fingering weight that the pattern called for. It involved a couple of the dreaded gauge swatches and several calculations but it came out beautifully in the end. Another modification--knitting the body in the round rather than in two flat pieces. I don't care for seaming at all and there is something very soothingly rhythmical about knitting row after row to produce perfect stockinette. It was perfect for bus riding and other odd moments. I was also trying to get in as many continuing education lectures as possible so as to be able to comfortably renew my cytogenetics certification before taking my leave from the lab and working on the sweater during the lectures helped me stay awake and focused. It's working pretty well for sermons now too as I work on the one for Elanor's new cousin, Justice.
Of course, calculating the yarn needed was a little tricky and I ended up with some extra. Every cute baby sweater needs a matching hat doesn't it?
This yarn was the leftovers from the Evenstar mitts:
I got a bunch of a friend's leftovers as well:
Matching mitts--which were for a much smaller baby than the socks were and are now too small:
This was a great free pattern called Fiddlehead that I found through PurlBee. I made a lightweight cotton version in a sport weight rather than the fingering weight that the pattern called for. It involved a couple of the dreaded gauge swatches and several calculations but it came out beautifully in the end. Another modification--knitting the body in the round rather than in two flat pieces. I don't care for seaming at all and there is something very soothingly rhythmical about knitting row after row to produce perfect stockinette. It was perfect for bus riding and other odd moments. I was also trying to get in as many continuing education lectures as possible so as to be able to comfortably renew my cytogenetics certification before taking my leave from the lab and working on the sweater during the lectures helped me stay awake and focused. It's working pretty well for sermons now too as I work on the one for Elanor's new cousin, Justice.
Of course, calculating the yarn needed was a little tricky and I ended up with some extra. Every cute baby sweater needs a matching hat doesn't it?
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Elanor at Home
Bundled up on the bed:
Looking at daddy:
Hanging with the boys:
Playing on the changing pad:
Full and happy:
Swaddled and ready for bed:
Looking at daddy:
Hanging with the boys:
Playing on the changing pad:
Full and happy:
Swaddled and ready for bed:
Firsts
First bath:
Elanor loved the warm water and didn't seem to mind being washed at all. Being taken out of the warm water to be dried and dressed, though, not so much.
First time being worn by daddy in the moby:
All bundled up and being soothed down to sleep to the gentle strains of John Philip Sousa. I hope that this doesn't mean that we have a trombone player in our family future.
First time out in the yard:
By the time that Elanor was a week or so old, I had to get outside into the sun or go stir crazy inside. She joined me on her mat and blanket for a trip to the backyard for some weeding. We've been outside for at least a little bit most non-rainy days since.
After first trip to church (on Easter Sunday):
Elanor was five days old on Easter Sunday. I don't think that we would have attempted going if it hadn't been such a special day and we were prepared for all sorts of possible catastrophes. However, she ended up sleeping through the entire service and the admiration following. This was also my first attempt at a coordinated outfit.
First meeting with the cats:
This was as close as they got. There were a few tentative sniffs in her direction before deciding that this strange little being was initially puzzling and perhaps alarming but ultimately not of significant interest. She, of course, paid them no attention whatsoever.
Elanor loved the warm water and didn't seem to mind being washed at all. Being taken out of the warm water to be dried and dressed, though, not so much.First time being worn by daddy in the moby:
All bundled up and being soothed down to sleep to the gentle strains of John Philip Sousa. I hope that this doesn't mean that we have a trombone player in our family future.First time out in the yard:
By the time that Elanor was a week or so old, I had to get outside into the sun or go stir crazy inside. She joined me on her mat and blanket for a trip to the backyard for some weeding. We've been outside for at least a little bit most non-rainy days since.After first trip to church (on Easter Sunday):
Elanor was five days old on Easter Sunday. I don't think that we would have attempted going if it hadn't been such a special day and we were prepared for all sorts of possible catastrophes. However, she ended up sleeping through the entire service and the admiration following. This was also my first attempt at a coordinated outfit.First meeting with the cats:
This was as close as they got. There were a few tentative sniffs in her direction before deciding that this strange little being was initially puzzling and perhaps alarming but ultimately not of significant interest. She, of course, paid them no attention whatsoever.
Welcoming Elanor Elisabeth
Our Birth Story:
Early Monday morning (3am early), I woke up having contractions off and on and couldn't go back to sleep. I asked Jonathan to not go to work that day just in case this was the real thing and also to help time contractions. We called Cindie mid-morning to let her know what was happening and she recommended that we get some rest. It turns out to be a good that we did!
We puttered around the house during the afternoon until things picked up about 4:00. After a couple of hours of contractions between 3-5 minutes apart, we packed up to run over to the office to be checked for progress. Cindie confirmed that I was indeed in early labor and that my water had broken, probably sometime that morning. On the way out, we encountered another couple that we knew coming in for their regular checkup. We cheerfully announced that we were going to be having a baby that night. Little did we (and they) know!
Back home we went to call my mom and sisters and labor some more. Later that evening, when it looked like labor had increased in intensity again, we called the Scotts and the midwives to meet us at the birth center. It turns out that it isn't speed that matters so much as gentleness around curves.
After a couple of hours there and a rather disappointing progression, the guys went over to Elsa's house to get some sleep while the ladies practiced breathing and tried different positions. I spent the night alternately laboring in the tub and walking the halls. At one point, we encountered one of the other midwives and a doula who were there with another couple giving birth. It turns out that the couple that we had passed at Cindie's office had gone into labor later that night and barely made it to the birth center before she started pushing. Their son was born early that morning, not quite a full day before our baby made her appearance.
Jonathan arrived with our other midwife the next morning to take over. After a night of labor, I was only at 5 centimeters dilation with some suspicion of a baby with a slightly cocked head. We tried more positions, a couple of homeopathic remedies and the tub for a few more hours with the gain of a couple of centimeters more. Then there I stuck at 7 centimeters. At 5:00, we decided that, while I was still coping appropriately and the baby was doing fine, I was starting to get tired so we would give it three more hours to see if anything happened and then consider other interventions to move things along. I got back in the tub to see if I could relax some more and discovered that it is indeed possible to sleep between contractions. I was refreshed, but still showed no progress.
At 8:30, we decided that it was time to transfer to the hospital to try a bit of pitocin to even out and focus the contractions. If I thought that the car ride to the birth center was bad, it doesn't compare to the one to the hospital. Fortunately, my mom rode with us so that she could help keep me on track with breathing and Jonathan could concentrate on driving.
We got to the hospital and they hooked me up to the IV and monitors. The nurse asked if I wanted an epidural along with the pitocin. After all of the horror stories that I have heard about pitocin-aided contractions, I was pretty nervous about how much worse they might be. After some encouragement, I decided to wait and see how things went. I'm so glad! It turned out that if they were worse, it happened so gradually that I didn't even notice.
I must have given the nurse quietly controlled fits since I wanted to labor leaning on Jonathan which caused the monitors to keep slipping.
Jonathan was amazing through the entire day. Poor guy! As we got further into the process, it got so that I didn't want anyone else but him and he hardly even got a bathroom break all day.
Looking up and smiling at each other between contractions:
Finally, Cindie pronounced me at a mildly uneven 10 centimeters and I got permission to push if I felt like it. Almost immediately, I did. After an hour to hour and a half (the stories that I heard later differed) of pushing (my sisters' pectoral muscles will never be the same), we got to see our little girl's head crowning and with one final effort, she was out and crying!
We had kept her name a secret between the two of us and agreed that Jonathan would introduce her by name to everyone who was there when she was born. I kept saying "Little girl, little girl" as she was handed up to me so that I wouldn't say her name. I will also admit that I looked at a strategic area to be sure that the girl that we were expecting was what we got!
Very tired but enjoying the high of giving birth and seeing our daughter for the first time:
Beautiful Elanor Elisabeth was born in the hospital after approximately 36 hours of labor and an hour and a half of pushing. She was 7lbs, 4 oz and 19 inches long with brown hair and blue eyes. She was also born with her hand in this position:
Little stinker--which was probably why it took so long.
After getting cleaned up and trying to nurse, everyone was ready to rest. Jonathan took a turn holding her as we all fell asleep.
We didn't expect that the birth would take that long and were a bit disappointed that we ended up needing to transfer to the hospital. But we did it (mostly) naturally and came out of the experience with our precious daughter in good shape.
The Scotts at the birth center:
Gary was a big encouragement to Jonathan and Barbara got me through that first night of labor with her doula expertise.
Cindie and Camille at the hospital:
The ladies after the birth:
Note the clock on the wall--that would be 3:50 AM! Great job, team!
And I never want to eat GU again--at least until the next time!
Early Monday morning (3am early), I woke up having contractions off and on and couldn't go back to sleep. I asked Jonathan to not go to work that day just in case this was the real thing and also to help time contractions. We called Cindie mid-morning to let her know what was happening and she recommended that we get some rest. It turns out to be a good that we did!
We puttered around the house during the afternoon until things picked up about 4:00. After a couple of hours of contractions between 3-5 minutes apart, we packed up to run over to the office to be checked for progress. Cindie confirmed that I was indeed in early labor and that my water had broken, probably sometime that morning. On the way out, we encountered another couple that we knew coming in for their regular checkup. We cheerfully announced that we were going to be having a baby that night. Little did we (and they) know!
Back home we went to call my mom and sisters and labor some more. Later that evening, when it looked like labor had increased in intensity again, we called the Scotts and the midwives to meet us at the birth center. It turns out that it isn't speed that matters so much as gentleness around curves.
After a couple of hours there and a rather disappointing progression, the guys went over to Elsa's house to get some sleep while the ladies practiced breathing and tried different positions. I spent the night alternately laboring in the tub and walking the halls. At one point, we encountered one of the other midwives and a doula who were there with another couple giving birth. It turns out that the couple that we had passed at Cindie's office had gone into labor later that night and barely made it to the birth center before she started pushing. Their son was born early that morning, not quite a full day before our baby made her appearance.
Jonathan arrived with our other midwife the next morning to take over. After a night of labor, I was only at 5 centimeters dilation with some suspicion of a baby with a slightly cocked head. We tried more positions, a couple of homeopathic remedies and the tub for a few more hours with the gain of a couple of centimeters more. Then there I stuck at 7 centimeters. At 5:00, we decided that, while I was still coping appropriately and the baby was doing fine, I was starting to get tired so we would give it three more hours to see if anything happened and then consider other interventions to move things along. I got back in the tub to see if I could relax some more and discovered that it is indeed possible to sleep between contractions. I was refreshed, but still showed no progress.
At 8:30, we decided that it was time to transfer to the hospital to try a bit of pitocin to even out and focus the contractions. If I thought that the car ride to the birth center was bad, it doesn't compare to the one to the hospital. Fortunately, my mom rode with us so that she could help keep me on track with breathing and Jonathan could concentrate on driving.
We got to the hospital and they hooked me up to the IV and monitors. The nurse asked if I wanted an epidural along with the pitocin. After all of the horror stories that I have heard about pitocin-aided contractions, I was pretty nervous about how much worse they might be. After some encouragement, I decided to wait and see how things went. I'm so glad! It turned out that if they were worse, it happened so gradually that I didn't even notice.
I must have given the nurse quietly controlled fits since I wanted to labor leaning on Jonathan which caused the monitors to keep slipping.
Jonathan was amazing through the entire day. Poor guy! As we got further into the process, it got so that I didn't want anyone else but him and he hardly even got a bathroom break all day.Looking up and smiling at each other between contractions:
Finally, Cindie pronounced me at a mildly uneven 10 centimeters and I got permission to push if I felt like it. Almost immediately, I did. After an hour to hour and a half (the stories that I heard later differed) of pushing (my sisters' pectoral muscles will never be the same), we got to see our little girl's head crowning and with one final effort, she was out and crying!We had kept her name a secret between the two of us and agreed that Jonathan would introduce her by name to everyone who was there when she was born. I kept saying "Little girl, little girl" as she was handed up to me so that I wouldn't say her name. I will also admit that I looked at a strategic area to be sure that the girl that we were expecting was what we got!
Very tired but enjoying the high of giving birth and seeing our daughter for the first time:
Beautiful Elanor Elisabeth was born in the hospital after approximately 36 hours of labor and an hour and a half of pushing. She was 7lbs, 4 oz and 19 inches long with brown hair and blue eyes. She was also born with her hand in this position:
Little stinker--which was probably why it took so long.
After getting cleaned up and trying to nurse, everyone was ready to rest. Jonathan took a turn holding her as we all fell asleep.We didn't expect that the birth would take that long and were a bit disappointed that we ended up needing to transfer to the hospital. But we did it (mostly) naturally and came out of the experience with our precious daughter in good shape.
The Scotts at the birth center:
Gary was a big encouragement to Jonathan and Barbara got me through that first night of labor with her doula expertise.Cindie and Camille at the hospital:
The ladies after the birth:
Note the clock on the wall--that would be 3:50 AM! Great job, team!And I never want to eat GU again--at least until the next time!
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